Next calling: Oxford tube to London

I recently went to visit my best friend in Oxford for her birthday, and we decided to spend the weekend in London. When we were on our way in the tube, we were all very glib and giggly in the otherwise quite tube, when a sketchy middle-aged man comes up to us and asks, “Where is your ancestry from?” naively, we say “India”, he continues to converse with us, despite us being a little reluctant to carry the dialogue further. “You are so expressive and interesting. I really like your smile and the way you guys are”, he persisted to mumble things like these, little did we know what he meant by it so we decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and said “Thank you” and continued to give each other glances; the kind that you give your best friend that literally screams ‘what the fuck’. A while later, my friend noticed him trying to take pictures, however unsure, she asked me to check and I looked back and he put his phone away instantly, which confirmed my doubts. I asked him about it, but he kept ignoring my question and kept beating around the bush. Meanwhile, the woman sitting behind him must have noticed and was visibly agitated. She asked him to bring his phone out and show her his gallery, he was very hesitant in doing so for obvious reasons. Whilst we were having this bickering, all the other women in the tube got antsy, tried to find out what happened and were on their feet ready to throw hands at him if needs be. Dreading getting ambushed by a bunch of women, he tried to defend himself by abusing and saying things like “f*cking small minded people” and that fueled the fire. Lucky for him, we had to get off at the next stop and he ran out of there like a mouse. We thanked the other for having our backs and they were very receptive and exclaimed, “anytime!” which put a smile on our faces despite our racing hearts. All I thought about that day was, ‘What if I were alone and unable to say anything to him even if I knew someone was trying to photograph me without my consent’ and I know for a fact every girl gets this feeling when she is travelling alone, or walking home at night and hears footstep behind and I hate that we live in such a world with racing hearts and fast paced footsteps of women.

What felt really great and empowering here was to watch all the women to come together, ready to beat him up if needs be, no questions asked! Whereas, at the same time, all the men, young blooded men in the bus kept mum, not even trying to find out what the issue is. This is my type of feminism, standing up or yourself, for others and ready to do something it. My type of feminism is the one that challenges the norms of society by promoting change and actions for individuals, genders, and communities. My feminism is one that seeks to celebrate the diversity of women and their multiple interests. Since the beginning of time, women need to feel like they are putting their best face forward. If you look in the mirror and need some self-encouragement all it takes is an added dash of your favorite perfume, a powder brush on your nose to make you look thinner/less shiny or perhaps a spritz on your lips to make them glistens. Yes, our sense of beauty is powerful, and it can easily be ruined by just one little comment or look by feeling objectified by the male gaze.

What I also noticed here is how, in subtle and abstruse ways people might say things you think are appreciative, but they are maybe just being racist, or sexist till you don’t know the intention behind it. It says a lot about you, your upbringing, and the kind of person you are. Somebody who untangles these comments to break them down into what they truly mean, you just know they have been through a lot, to be able to tell the honest ones apart.